“All things that truly matter - beauty , love , creativity ,joy , inner-peace - arise from beyond the mind .”

I met a girl in December of 2013, we became friends. It wasn't until May 2015 that something happened.

A feeling was born within me, Now. 
This feeling wasn't one of lust, nor love.. yet i couldn't describe it without using those exact words.
This feeling, sparked a journey which will be the cause of these 50 drawings.

Her beauty spoke to me, it whispered, "Worship Me" 
Her beauty is like of Venus 
With the bravery of the grey-eyed goddess
Loyalty as that of Hera's. -May 15th, 2015.

Untitled #2 
Journal entry:

This woman will always make a devil out of me
One cannot truly understand her
She speaks with riddles as those from the sphinx 
She is worth 50 shades ©
-May 16, 2015

Untitled #3 "See, she shields her emotions.
I think of her as a maiden that hides what she truly feels.

Only shows it when it is absolutely needed. (Her name is a riddle)
I can relate to her very much. 👀 do not stare 
She means a lot to me.
More than most maidens 
But like Odysseus, 
I cant give into her electrifying siren-like beauty. (You'll loose yourself)

The 🌜represents me"
-May 16, 2015

I began caring for her... wanting to fix something that maybe wasn't broken

Untitled #4

"People think of her as being high maintaince. 
Her vibrant energy seems to project that into the minds of those who cannot understand her.

I'm starting to believe that the girl I'm drawing is just a fragment of the desires of my mind, is she this real? 
There are no feelings of lust, yet i crave her. 
Is this the light of desire Matisse spoke about?"
Worship her ©

How could you want someone without wanting them? I began realizing maybe she's more alike to me than anyone else currently in my life. 
 

Untitled #5

 "It's a soar of anger,
Empty flow less thoughts dominate her.

It's the truth that hurts her.
An unbalanced enigma.

Pain bursting louder than that of atlas.
A shit show today wasn't it? 
She replied, 'I dont know'." © 
May 22nd, 2015. 
We both had pretty bad days, it seems that we're both secretly guarding our unhappy emotions.
Can a friendship be built this way? 
I remember saying to myself "id do anything to make her happy" and oh god, i sure would. 

Untitled #6 "This dance has no name.
It is a dance of lust. 
She moves swiftly like a butterfly.
Her voice makes those who hear it full with madness.

You'd imagine her to glorify herself,
But she doesn't.

She makes you tremble,
Why would such a goddess step down from her throne?

She is full of pride, that pride however would blind one.
'Ojos de passion', will she be blinded?" - No Date ©

I have met many beautiful girls, but she is different. She isn't full of herself.
This is very important. 
This is when i began seeing into her heart, something VERY few have done. Things would never be the same. 

Untitled #7 "Is there a lack of color here?
She decides to dance her own ways.
The multitude of her 'shell' is immense. 
Last night she stated 'He isn't worthy to know whats beneath my shell.' But do i even know what's beneath it? She sings like a child at play, what is it that you hide so closely? 
Where is all the excitement you blind your lover with?

What dance do you show him?
Is it a dance of lust?

This is no romance.
This is something else." © -5/29/2015 8:39 
I became aware she hides her true emotions. Her lovers weren't even worthy of this "truth". It made me think, will i be? 

Untitled #8 

"She's like a bright violet in June
Half hidden from the eye
She hides in the fields that no moral men dare to roam.
One could hear her whispers of lust flowing in the winds through the field, through the Lilies and Daises of June.
A heart grown old, cold and blue in grain vain 
the lost of a lovely maiden dulls a young man 
The great lost of his lovely maiden blinds him 
And now the winter evening settles down 
Sunlight perpetrates his marks of weakness, marks of woe.
This dance has no name; It is a dance of lust
Planting his steadfast footsteps through the field
Alone and aloud his weeping strikes the presence of she, who is like a bright violet in June.
Her moves are swiftly, like a butterfly who has resurrected The wind swoons around the young man
Her voice warms him like a summer fire
"Shall i welcome you?" The gaze of the two strangers meet
Without disclosure, the maiden of the field flees "His gaze poisons my heart with a flaming love; this immortal feeling i must endure" 
The young man goes hither "I too suffer young maiden"
His vanity requires no response
That is when the lovely woman stoops to folly and paces to his company again
Both had fallen under an aphrodisiac spell; 
The young man dared not to hide his desire within
The bright violet of June held the young man, with reason of love and lust, she hideth his half from the eyes of others.
Now she reigns the fields in blue nights through the gold of the day with a love worthy of her hidden halve." -May 24, 2015

Summer was approaching, everything in life was blooming with purpose. My friendship with her had reached a new phase, question was, would she bloom as well?

Untitled #9 

"As the days go by, one behind to wonder, what does this maiden hide from the eyes of 'unworthy' souls.

I ponder on whether i wish to know or not. 
Will i dare to sing her song & dance her dance?

She is like a gypsy, playing a luring melody so seductive

Even the sirens themselves would not dare resist." I had began to portray what i saw within, instead of without. 
Her beauty had reached a new phase within me, i had began indulging myself in her beautiful landscapes. 
This optimism however.. wouldn't last long..

Untitled #10 

"Trust me she won't care.
Blistering Beauty has no care.

Her words will teach you a new dance.
Lure you in like a siren, only to devour you like a jungle cobra.

One glare at her lips, witness your seduction, your fall." -June 23, 2015

My best friend passed away on June 3rd, on her birthday. I was devastated, i never looked at beauty the same way. 
It impacted the way i perceived what is beauty, thus, this portrait, of only a nose and lips. 
Beauty would forever change. 

Untitled #11

 "She can be quite unpredictable,
Some things you cant always know.

At times she hides her beauty like the moon hides after it's full.
Other times she shows herself dazzling as beautiful as the morning sun.

Momentarily she hides, it's best to wait for her call
She's unpredictable." -No date

It was at this moment, i witnessed her beauty.. not physical.. but rather internal. i wanted to see more of her inner beauty. it wasn't until untitled #12that i would once again receive that peek. 
I dont know what it was, but seeing a peek of what was within her, it motivated me to draw her more than ever. The desire grew. I couldn't describe what i felt for her.. not yet.

Untitled #12 

"I saw you turn into stone,
It is as if Aphrodite had drained your rosy-pink beauty.

It is as if the dances of Matisse had tangoed with the melancholy skies of el Greco.

Dear beauty, dont turn into stone, dont look back your shoulders.
Uplift your spirit, uplift your mindset. Dont turn into stone"
-No date

My eyes have seen you, and it was beautiful.
From this point on, her beauty had become unparalleled, she inspired me to see within.